Thermodynamic of Relationship

Thermodynamic for some, sounds like cazy science concept, but for me, its a marvelously elegant description of the relationships among all events in the universe. Through all my jogs, and also personal experience, I shall make an humble attempt to extend its concepts into human-human relationship.

We only fear what we don't understand, so if we can understand the mechanics of relationship, there is nothing to fear!!

First Law of Thermodynamic : Conversation of Energy: Energy can be neither created nor destroyedDuring breaking of a relationship or forming a new one, Effort has to be gain or lose.

To form new relationship or new bond, Effort have to be put in! Seeing her home, going for dinner and dates, buying present. Bonds or relationship cannot be created without Effort!
To maintain the relationship, consistent effort has to be put it too. The same goes for breaking a bond, or destroying a relationship, when the amount of Effort is lesser then threshold, it will break, commonly know as "i have lost the interest or motivation to maintain the relationship", "i am sick of this". "i don't see the point anymore", all this equates to the lost of Effort that is put into a relationship. Bonds or relationship cannot be created or destroyed without the gain or lost of Effort

For the time being, Let EFFORT be Eff, and the effort put into the relationship is delta Eff. When alot of effort is invested into a relationship, delta Eff is negative, when there is a lost of effort, delta Eff is positive

Therefore 1st law of thermodynamic can be seen as "Relationship cannot be created from nothing and destroyed into nothing, Energy in terms of effort have to be taken in or lost from the system" analogous to energy cannot be create nor destroyed but can be lost or gain from the system.

This provides a criterion for determining whether a process is spontaneous. Something to take note is Thermodynamic only indicates if a given reaction will occur or not, it does not provide any information about the rate of reaction.

Translating into the context of relationship, it means, Relationship or bonds will be broken no matter what. 2 Person will eventually break no matter what as the system tends towards disorder or chaos. When 2 person comes together, there is definately some differences between them that is the source of chaos. Unless you are marrying yourself in the mirror, even twins, there will be difference between 2 individual. The bigger the difference, the more spontaneous the rxn will be, means the higher probability of breaking up.

Let the characteristic of each individual be Char, and the difference in characteristic be delta Char. If two individual has high degree of similarity as compared to difference, Delta Char would be positive, if two individual has high degree of difference as compared to differences Delta Char would be negative

In summary, the 2nd law states the requirement for a reaction to be spontaneous or not. In the context of relationship, breakup is inevitable or spontaneously favorable when there is more difference then similarity. And if two person comes together spontaneously it is because of their similarity. Note that, similarity or difference does not affect the RATE of breaking or forming a relationship, but it DOES tells us if the relationship can be broken or formed.

With just this 2 law, The original equation for describing how spontaneous the relationship will proceed is quantitate by Delta G = Delta H - T Delta S. Where Delta G is Gibbs free energy, the more negative the more spontaneous the reaction, in the context of relationship, it is:

The more negative Delta Relationship is the more likely it will form, positive delta relationship means that breaking the bond is inevitable. Breaking n forming relationship is a reversible reaction, A large positive Delta relationship for the forward rxn (forming a relationship) also means a large negative Delta relationship for the reverse rxn (breaking a relationship). Its confusing .. haha, simply means that if A and B has a high possiblity of becoming lovers/friends (forwrd rxn), A and B also has a low possibilty of breaking up (reverse rxn).

As previously mentioned, when two people are very different Delta Char would be a very big negative value, therefore Delta Rel would be a high positive term, making the relationship very hard to form or maintain. This of course can be overcome by a LARGE negative delta eff, MEANS a lot of effort have to be put in to form or maintain a relationship whereby 2 individual are VERY different. For 2 individual that are very similar in characteristic, like the same food, same hobby, same ambition, Delta Char would be a very large positive value, thus Delta Rel would be a large negative value, which means Delta Eff can be small or even positive for the relationship to be form. Simply means if two individual are highly similar, little effort is needed to maintain or form the relationship.

Therefore to have a successful relationship with someone, according to the law of thermodynamics: Delta Rel = Delta Eff - T Delta Char2 person have to be very similar in characteristic and also put in a lot of effort, such relationship will make Delta Rel extremely negative and thus the forward rxn of forming a relationship is spontaneously favorable but reverse rxn of breaking this relationship is not favorable. To add alittle more confusion, BOTH backward n forward rxn are possible, it’s the EQUILIBRIUM, means for spontaneously favorable rxn, possibility of forming a relationship is much much higher than breaking up.

Of cos human are dynamic, and are constantly changing, if the change is towards more differences between them it would be there is a higher chance of breaking up. If as time goes by, the similarity or experience they share is more n more common, it will strengthen the relationship and possibility of breaking up is decreased. This will explain why once u get into a relationship, Delta Rel is not constant. It will keep on changing with different experience n as people change the variable changes too.

*Case study 1: Mr Pei (P) and Miss Go (G). P went to aussie to study leaving G in sg, this already increases their experience n differences, making delta Char more negative. Then as time goes by, relationship got strain by the lack of effort by P & G, therefore Delta Eff is being more positive. Both factor will increase delta Rel to a positive value, thus making breaking up a downhill rxn. Of cos we haven introduce the kinetic yet, but to continue the story, P met BITCH (enzyme) that lowers the kinetic barrier thus leading to a accelerated breakup. But the happy ending is, Mr P woke up and kick the enzyme away, in addition, Mr P have to put in a HUGE amount of effort ( a very large negative delta P) to form a relationship back with G!

*THIS IS JUST A HYPOTHETICAL SITUATION, ALL CHARACTER THAT RESEMBLES REAL-LIFE EVENTS ARE FAKE AND NOT TRUE.

For now I will end here, stay tune for Kinetics of Relationship! With love pushing (electron pushing) and complicated covalent catalysis, metal-ion catalysis!